My 100 Day Experience.

Recently I took part in a 100 Day Workout Challenge, and let me tell you it was definitely different.
That’s right 100 days STRAIGHT of working out. No breaks, no excuses. Just action.
I didn’t know if I had it in me to do 100 days but I sure was going to give it a shot.

Along the way, I started to see a change in myself from the inside-out.
I started feeling inspired again. I felt motivated and confident. I had purpose in each day.
That’s not to say there weren’t days I wasn’t feeling it either.
Some days it took every ounce of energy to get it done.
Whether I was at home, on vacation or just plain not in the mood, it got done.
I made a commitment to myself and I didn’t want to let myself down, not anymore.

I ended up losing 8 pounds, which is great for me. I’ve never felt better!
But I didn’t just gain the success of losing weight, I gained so much more.
I started feeling more confident in who I was, my capabilities. I started putting myself first.
I started realizing I can do anything I set my mind to.
I can be my best me every single day, I just have to choose ME.
I had a purpose for every day. I started creating even healthier habits when it came to eating.
I created healthy habits that fueled my mind with positive affirmations and thoughts.
I started to have a more positive outlook on life because let me tell you with all these uncertain times, I was starting to get worn down.

I shared my journey along the way with Instagram stories, progress photos and daily check-ins. Soon I started getting tons of questions of what I was doing and how good I seemed to be doing, overall. It was like my attitude and mindset shifted completely in a whole new way, in the most positive way. And let me tell you, it definitely did.

This workout program changed my life.
It changed the way I thought about challenging myself.
It changed the way I looked at myself and what I was truly capable of.
It changed my overall health and wellness.
It propelled me into the next chapter of my life.

All this because I decided to take that next step.
All this because I decided I needed change. I needed something.
All this because I decided to not let fear and uncertainty run my life.

I challenge you today to do something that gets you out of your comfort zone.
Stop staying stuck in a place that has you fearful of what comes next.
You are truly capable of anything you set your mind to.

Start that new workout program. Start that new career. Start writing that book. Start loving yourself, flaws and all. Start challenging yourself. Start stepping out of your comfort zone. Start letting go and just being. Start healing. Start living your life, again.

You are your only limit.

Simplify Your Life.

Life doesn’t always have to be crazy, chaotic and busy.
It can be simple, fulfilling and rewarding.
It can be these things even with the demands of life.

You have full control over your life. You get to decide what each day looks like. You have the choice.
You have the choice to begin again. You have the choice to make this life all that you want it to be.
And guess what? It doesn’t have to be difficult. It doesn’t have to be draining.

You can simplify things in your life and still get the most out of it. Change the mindset that if life isn’t full of plans, chaos and overworked days then you aren’t giving your all to your dreams and goals. Chasing after your dreams and goals doesn’t have to drain you. Will it be work? Yes. Will you have hard days? Yes. Will you have tiring days? Absolutely.

But every single day should not look that way, and if your days do then it’s time to simplify some things.
Below is a list of 10 things you can start right now, this very moment, today to simplify your life while still being a 100% badass in all that you do while chasing those dreams.

1. Say “No” And Own It - be firm in saying no to things that don’t fit into your schedule or work right now. It is okay to say no. When you say yes to everything, you run yourself dry and you do things out of obligation instead of for pleasure. You will burn yourself out trying to please everyone. Start saying “no”, stand firm and start giving your best “yes”. And guess what? You don’t need to explain why you are saying no to this or that. Stop feeling guilty for prioritizing certain events or activities in your life.

2. Time - find ways to be more productive, efficient and intentional with your time and how you are spending your day. Don’t waste time on things that don’t necessarily matter. We can find ourselves wasting our days away, whether that be binge watching a show, making excuses or scrolling through social media. Make each day count for something.

3. Morning Routine - I talk about this one all the time. Your morning routine is vital to how the day ahead will be. If you are rushing around and agitated, guess what? Your day is going to be like that too. Create a morning routine that sets you up for a good day ahead.

4. Evening Routine - this one is just as important as your morning routine. Prepare for the next day by setting your alarm, laying out your clothes, planning your meals and unwinding. Give yourself time to unwind and relax at the end of the day. Take a breath and prepare yourself for a good night’s sleep.

5. Health & Fitness - find and create simplistic ways to incorporate healthy eating and exercise into each day. “I am too busy to workout and plan my meals”…no you aren’t and I don’t want to hear it. 1 hour on a Sunday to sit and prepare your meals is all it takes to create healthier eating habits. 30 minutes a day is all it takes when it comes to your fitness. Whether that’s a quick walk or exercise routine, you have the time. Figure out the time that works best for you and make it happen. You can watch Netflix for 5 hours straight, you can incorporate 30 minutes of movement into your day.

6. Relationships - invest your time and energy into those that count. Stop draining yourself for people who constantly are bringing you down and making you feel exhausted every time you interact with them. Declutter that friends list.

7. Personal Expectations - be realistic about your goals and what it is going to take to get there. Come up with one small plan a day that helps you get one step closer to obtaining that goal. Focus on your priorities and don’t overwhelm yourself with the big picture. Take it one day at a time.

8. Organization - cut the stress by planning and preparing. Stop winging your life. Yes, it’s fun to take last minute trips and take part in new adventures but that’s not what I am talking about here. I am talking about waking up every day to the chaos. Create routine, healthy habits and a love for your life that gets you going every morning.

9. Self-Care Routine - it is so okay to put yourself first, it is necessary. You are not being selfish for taking time to put your needs and wants first. It doesn’t matter what it is, you need to do it for yourself, your happiness and for those around you. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, you can’t be your best self for your life and for others.

10. Ditch the Things That Bring You Down - start being intentional about making your life count. Do more of the things that make you happy and ditch the things that make you sad. When you start being intentional about how and who you are spending your time with, you start to realize what happiness looks and feels like. Try it.

These are 10 things that I started doing to simplify my own life and making each day count.
There are countless other things you can do, but this is a good start.
Give it a try, what do you have to lose?

I’m betting this is just the list you needed to see to start today. To start a whole new journey of creating peace, happiness and love in your life. All of it starts with you and how you decide to live out each day. Make the most of it. You only get one life, how do you want to look back on it?

Breathing Life Into A New Me.

“Maybe you’re not healing because you’re trying to be who you were before the trauma. That person does not exist anymore. There is a new you trying to be born. Breathe life into that person.”

I came across this quote the other day and it immediately spoke to me. I related in such a way that I broke down.
Broke down because I knew this was too true.
I knew I was fighting for a me that no longer existed.
I was searching for a me that left long ago.

A new me was breaking through and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for her yet.
I wasn’t sure that’s who I was supposed to be becoming.

I’ve shared my story of past abuse, trauma, heartbreak and failure.
I’ve shared of being abused in a relationship that was suppose to last forever.
I’ve shared of having to start over with bags of clothes in hand at 2:00 am to go live my parents.
I’ve shared of losing who I was for what was suppose to be my forever.
I’ve shared of my many failures -starting new careers, losing friendships, etc.

Those moments were beyond difficult. Those moments were hard, raw and real.
Those moments don’t define me but they have shaped me into who I am today.
I can confidently say that girl doesn’t exist anymore. That girl is long gone.

This realization doesn’t make me sad anymore because I came out stronger on the other side. It took years of tears, hard work and fighting like hell, but it was worth it. It was worth the work because here I am, still standing today.

I have said goodbye to the old me and embraced the “new” me. The me that says you are worth it. You are beautiful. You are successful. You are capable.

For so long I was fighting for the person I was before all the bad shit happened to me but that person is long ago, and I am okay with that. I am breathing life into the new me. The new me that wakes up and kicks ass every day. The new me that is going after her goals and dreams without hesitation. The new me who no longer lives in fear of anyone or anything. The new me that isn’t scared to live out loud. The new me that loves me for me.

I like the new me. She is pretty cool. She knows what she wants and what she deserves. She won’t settle for anything less.
She has a voice and she isn’t afraid to use it. She isn’t afraid to leave behind the people who don’t see her worth. She isn’t afraid to live this life on her own because she has found a new strength inside of her. She embraces who she is and who she is becoming.

Was it easy? No.

Most days I fought battles nobody knew of or cared to know of.
I’ve cried and peeled my own damn self off the floor because the only person I could rely to keep me going was me.

Friends I thought would be there for me, left. They didn’t care to stick around for the hard times.
I still have people that only reach out for the fake “hi” because they want something for their own personal agenda or “business”.
I don’t expect people to care. They never have anyways.
It was easy for them to leave me in the first place.
I wasn’t like everyone else in the group -getting married, buying a house, having babies.
I was the friend who was single and it was easier to ditch me than those who fit more into their “married” lifestyle.

But the new me knows who was there all along, and who left when I became too inconvenient for their lives.

I no longer look for the old me because she is gone and I have accepted that.
I look at who I am today.
I look at who stands in the mirror before me and I smile at her with pride.

She’s beautiful.
Her bruises have healed.
She has scars but they tell an incredible story.

I breathe life into her because she deserves it.
I’ve let a new life be born.

She deserves all the good things and she finally believes that now.
She finally knows who she is and is healing in new ways.
She looks beyond her trauma.
She looks at an imperfectly perfect woman and embraces every single piece of her.

She is me and I love her.

Lily McCleary Photography

Learn To Put Yourself First.

Learn to say “no” and put yourself first without apologizing, feeling guilty and beating yourself up about it.

I am GUILTY of this. I say “yes” to everyone and everything. I hate saying no because I feel like I am letting people down and I want to be everywhere for everyone, all the time. I want to be apart of the magical moments, the important moments, the fun moments and all the in-between moments. Before I realize it, I have overcommitted myself and now, realize I cannot be everywhere at once and so now, I am letting people down. I am having to cancel here to make it to there. I am racing from place to place, timing out every stop as to not be late to my next one. By the end of the day, I have exhausted myself and while I made everyone else happy, I have neglected to make myself happy. The dishes and laundry aren’t done, grocery shopping is, yet again, pushed back and I barely have the energy to shower to get ready for the next work week. We have all been there, so how do we say “no” and not apologize for it?

It’s simple, so here it goes…JUST SAY NO. Seriously, just say no. You cannot be everywhere at once, you cannot do everything at once, you most certainly cannot please everyone, so stop trying to do it. Stop allowing others to make you feel guilty for simply saying, “no” -trust me, they have no problem telling you no, if something more important comes their way (even if that means them staying at home). We have to learn to start giving our best “yes” and our absolute, no guilt “no”.

You should not have to explain yourself when you say “no”. If it requires an explanation, then understand the person demanding one is selfish and doesn’t deserve one. No means no, you do not owe an explanation to anybody. Your time is just as valuable as to whatever they are asking you to take time to go do, and if you simply don’t have the time, you DO NOT have the time. If you planned on staying in, cuddling with your dog, binge watching your favorite serial killer tv show (no? just me?) and relaxing, then stick to those plans. Those plans of self-care are just as important to your health -attending every social event will drain you, learn to slow down.

You should not have to apologize when saying “no”. You owe nobody an apology for putting yourself first. You owe nobody an apology for having prior plans and not being able to make their plans fit into yours. People are very quick to “want” but when “want" is needed in return, they are nowhere to be found. So, do not apologize for saying “no”. If the person is getting upset because you simply cannot make whatever it is they want to work, then re-evaluate that situation and relationship. Nobody who truly cares and understands you, would get upset and need an apology to feel better about themselves and make you feel less than for having your own life.

You should not feel guilty for saying “no”. Stop with the guilt-trips, second-guessing your decisions and upsetting yourself for putting you first. There comes a time when you have to stop trying to please everyone else and put yourself first. What makes you happy? What creates a positive mental head space for you? Is it staying at home? Is it reading a good book? Is it going for a brisk run? Is it trying something new? Joining a new club in the neighborhood? Whatever it is, do it! Do it for you and nobody else. Start putting you and your health first. You can’t give your best “yes”, if you aren’t healthy enough to say it with sincerity in your heart. So, start learning to say “no” with no apology, guilt or explanation.