Creating a Healthy Lifestyle for Life.

“I stay on track for a while then I just lose it. I’ll never be able to always have a healthy lifestyle.”

I hear this all the time. I hear “never” and “can’t”. I hear doubt and fear.
Don’t believe the lies. You absolutely can. You are so capable. You totally got this.
How do I know this? Because I used to say and feel those things. All. The. Time.
But I didn’t let that define my journey and what I knew I was capable of.

So, how do I get to that point? How do I create AND keep a healthy lifestyle for life?
Simple…START NOW. Stop waiting and start doing. No more excuses.
In order to create and keep a healthy lifestyle for life you have to start.
Are you going to fail? Yes. Are you going to have disappointing days? Yes.
Are you going to get back up? Yes. Are you going to keep going? Yes.

That’s where we find ourselves giving up and saying, “never” like it’s a fashion statement.
We let our failures and missteps define us and our journey. We let is determine our capabilities.
That’s the last thing failures and missteps should do to you.

Our failures and missteps should show you resiliency. It should show you strength.
It should show you determination. It should show you that you are capable. It should show you, YOU CAN.
Let your failures and missteps propel you forward and guide you into a new, better you.

What does starting now look like?

1. It looks like showing up every single day. It’s not going to be easy and most days you are going to want to quit. You are going to want to talk yourself out of a life you deserve. Don’t let yourself stay there. Acknowledge your feelings, what made you feel that way, what you learned, and how you can be better next time. It’s all about remembering not to give up.
   KEEP. SHOWING. UP. ALWAYS.

2. Living a healthy lifestyle doesn’t mean being skinny, eating salads every meal, and working out 24/7. That’s not what living healthy is all about. Yes, it’s great to learn to choose healthier options and finding time to move for 30 minutes a day. But it is, also, about finding balance. Living a healthy lifestyle means taking care of yourself mentally as much as you do physically. It means setting boundaries for yourself and others. It means taking self-care days. It means taking care of yourself from the inside-out.

3. Lastly, living a healthy lifestyle for life can be accomplished through creating routines and habits for yourself. That’s what setting boundaries for yourself looks like. It looks like creating a routine for your every day life. And yes I know, life happens and sometimes we get thrown off course but that goes back to my showing up every single day spill above. Create habits that show a reflection of who you want to be and who you know you can be. You can’t expect to just show up with no plan. Creating a healthy lifestyle for life means having a blueprint to start from and continuing to build on that blueprint until it becomes a firm, structured building that doesn’t waiver. And remember, this takes time.

Yes, life happens. Yes, we are thrown curveballs.
Yes, we face disappointments and failure. Yes, we will be judged.
Don’t let these things stop you. Overcome and conquer.
Allow yourself the time to learn and grow. Be patient with yourself.

Creating a healthy lifestyle for life is totally possible.
Start Now.
Show Up. Every. Single. Day.
Create Boundaries.
Learn to Love Yourself.
Take Care of Yourself.
Have a Plan.
Never Give Up…

YOU TOTALLY GOT THIS.

Sitting Still.

Sitting Still.
- What does that mean?
- What does that look like?
- I struggle with this.
- There’s no way, I have to much to do.

I believe deep down we all struggle with sitting still. We are constantly on the go. We have a never ending to-do list that needs to get done. We have demands that have to get met. We have responsibilities that cannot wait. We have people that are counting on us to make life happen. We need to feel productive.

Can you relate? I know I can.

I have a really hard time with sitting still.
I have a problem with feeling like something is not getting done.
I have a problem with feeling lazy and unproductive.
I have a problem saying, “no” and taking on more than I can handle.
I have a problem with resting even though I know I need it.

I don’t know if you can relate but sitting still for me brings anxious thoughts. It causes me to overthink every single situation, every single word spoken by another. It causes me to create a false reality of my present moment. It causes me to become extremely emotional and at times, irrational. Do I mean to be this way? Absolutely not. Do I do this on purpose? Goodness no.

In these moments I have learned to show myself grace while also working on a solution because without a solution one can spiral -I am the first to admit that. In these moments I am honest with myself and those around me that it may be effecting. It is important to have an open line of communication with yourself and others -understanding and grace is key to coming out on the other side of this battle better than ever before.

What would it look like if we changed our mindset?
What would it look like if we gave ourselves permission to rest?
What would it look like if we gave ourselves permission to sit still?
How could it change our lives for the better?

I have 5 simple ways you can change your thought process. I have 5 simple reminders of why sitting still is vital to your overall health. I am not saying remember these 5 simple reminders anytime you feel guilty about sitting still and you will now feel ready to sit still whenever, wherever and not have a care in the world. But you do have to start somewhere, am I right? You have to be willing to start to find a solution that eventually works for you, in your own special way.

1. Sitting still will bring me clarity -stillness is not a way to problem solve but it allows me a way to step back and gain perspective that I normally wouldn’t have in the middle of something that is troubling me.

2. Increases my self-awareness -this allows me to be more aware of myself and who I am in the world. I notice myself and habits more, and I can take more ownership of things happening in my life rather than staying in a negative, victim mindset.

3. Ability to listen to my own intuition -in stillness I am better able to silence negative voices streaming through my head and better able to tap into what is true for me. What is true of my reality.

4. Anchoring myself in the present -all of my thoughts are often times focused on the future. The obstacles, challenges, endless tasks, and unknowns. This moment of stillness allows me to deal with what is and not what might be. To remind myself that living in the present allows me to create a better future.

5. Connection to a higher power -this one keeps me grounded in knowing that my God is at work for my greater good. My story is part of a much larger story that is unfolding, not on my time but His. It allows me to see what He has already done and what He is currently doing without living in fear of the future because my higher power is conspiring on my behalf.

These are all things I am mindful of when sitting still and let me tell you it has been a game changer for me. I tap into each one of these and allow myself to focus on each one for a few minutes or however long I choose. There is no wrong or right way.

Sitting still is never a bad thing and the sooner we come to terms with this the better off we will be. Take time today to go over these reminders of why sitting still can benefit you and your overall health. Stop saying it’s impossible and make it possible even if it is only for a few minutes until you build your way up.

You totally got this.

Lily McCleary Photography

Boundaries.

Boundaries. Personal Boundaries.

Personal boundaries are limits that another person creates to recognize reasonable and safe ways for others to behave towards them and how they respond when someone passes those limits.

Boundaries are so important to have because they help set the basic guidelines of how you want to be treated by another. It is a way to protect our energy and an important practice of self-love.

But don’t get building walls up and personal boundaries confused. Building walls up to keep everyone out is NOT the route we are going for here. We want to be able to sense what we need for ourselves and be able to access your voice to speak those things. It is important you don’t shut people out of your life because they are not aware of your boundaries. Many people will cross that line and having boundaries allows you to speak to them, in a healthy manner, and let them know where they have overstepped.

Don’t expect people to just know your boundaries though. Teach the ones you care about the boundaries you have set for yourself and what you expect out of them. Their reaction determines their level of respect for you and where you head next.

What boundaries should I be setting for myself?
What boundaries do I deserve?
What boundaries are reasonable?

Here are 3 simple boundaries you can start with today -

1. Physical Boundaries - which include personal space and physical needs such as rest, food, and water. It is okay to say “no” to plans because you are feeling tired and need rest. It is okay to say “I need a break”. It is okay to say “No, do not touch me like that” or “You are too close for me to feel comfortable”. It’s okay to use your voice for unwanted attention or touch.

2. Emotional Boundaries - which includes respecting and honoring your feelings. This sets up a limit of when to share, when not to share, and how to respect and respond to other’s emotional needs. Dismissing feelings, criticizing, assuming, or telling someone how they should or should not feel is not acceptable. Instead create healthy dialogue. “When I share my feelings with you and get judged, it makes me feel…” or “I am having a hard time this is what would help…” or “I may not fully understand what you are feeling but would like to. Please help me”.

3. Time Boundaries - your time is valuable and protecting how it is utilized helps you better understand how to prioritize and not overcommit yourself in any area of life. When you understand your priorities, it is much easier to manage your time and create healthy boundaries with others. It is okay to say, “I can only stay for an hour” or “I would love to help but would be overcommitting myself. How about another day"?” or “I can’t this weekend”.

I find myself working on these 3 boundaries daily. It is easy to guilt ourselves into not being able to say “no” or not using our voices to articulate how we are feeling or how another made us feel. It is easier to just sit back and hope someone realizes what you need instead of having to tell them. But is that a healthy way to live? Absolutely not.

Start creating personal boundaries today. There is no wrong or right way to go about this. The boundaries you create for yourself are ones that should create a healthier environment for you to feel safe in, as well as creating a true form of self-love in respecting what you need. But remember, you can’t expect others to know these boundaries and don’t create unrealistic ones either. It’s not about building a wall to keep everyone out but building a line to help create healthy relationships with others and yourself.

Lily McCleary Photography

Finding Your Why.

What is your why?

Everyone has one -it is a purpose or belief that drives us, every single day.

What is your purpose?
What makes you come alive?
How will you measure your life?

Knowing your why is an important first step in figuring out how to achieve your goals and create a life you enjoy living. The life you’ve always dreamed about. When you know your ‘why’ you’ll find the inner courage (that’s always been there) to take risks, stay motivated during the difficult times, and to move your life into a more exciting, challenging, and rewarding direction.

It’s important you aren’t sitting still in your right now.
It’s important you are making moves, no matter how small they may be.
It’s important to figure out your purpose and plan.

And it all doesn’t have to happen right now. You can take the time to figure it out. It is going to be a trial and error process. You are going to make mistakes along the way. You may question your ‘why’, your purpose, your plan, and all of that is okay. That’s what this life journey is all about. Take it one day at a time.

But if you are finding yourself stuck and unsure I encourage you to just start today. Start right where you are. Start understanding your ‘why’ and living it out every single day. Stop waiting for tomorrow. Stop waiting for a sign. Stop wishing. Just start doing.

Take the time each morning and evening to sit down with your ‘why’.
Answer the questions above and feel free to adjust your responses as needed.

Remind yourself why you are doing.
Remind yourself of your purpose.
Remind yourself of your plan.
Remind yourself of where you thrive the most.
Remind yourself of what makes you happy.

Mindset is key in realizing and understanding your ‘why’.
Negativity won’t get you to where you are going.
Positivity changes it all and will propel you forward.

Make today the day. Make today the day you change your life.
Make today the moment you decide to live. You’ve totally got this.

Hello 2021.

2020 was a year of change, growth, and blessings.
2021 will be a year of continued change, growth, and blessings.

I can’t sit here and say 2020 was completely terrible. 2020 brought many things with it.
It was a year of good and bad, mixed together to bring a year of strength and growth.
Strength from the inside to overcome hardships and celebrate victories.
Growth to continue to evolve into who God has created me to be.

Life in 2020 was no walk in the park. I faced a career change which brought about personal change.
In the middle of a career change came a pandemic that challenged me in more ways than one.

I faced living completely alone and it got really lonely some days.
I lost my grandfather, who I am still deeply hurting for.
I missed not being able to say goodbye to my students at the end of the school year.
I felt a heavy weight of depression and anxiety from the unknown.

But in the middle of the chaos and uncertainty…

I completed a 100 day workout challenge.
I focused on what I was fueling my body with.
I changed who I surrounded myself with (kind of had to with a pandemic and all).
I talked and prayed more with God, creating a deeper relationship with Him.
I worked on myself through intense journaling and therapy (via Zoom, of course).
I learned to completely love myself right where I was.

So no, 2020 wasn’t all that bad.

Entering into a new year I am completely confident that I will continue to grow in all areas of life, find success, and even be humbled by some failures. All of these moments propels us into where we are going.

If there is one thing I have learned it is to embrace every part of life as it is. Embrace the happy, sad, good, and bad. Each moment is a moment to learn, grow, and be better than before. Be present in the now. Stop dwelling on the past and look forward to what the future has to offer you.

I’m not saying I don’t have worries, fears or doubts. I absolutely do. But I don’t let those worries, fears or doubts control my life. I don’t let those moments hold me back. I continue to push ahead and give my all.

I encourage you to change your outlook on what last year brought to you and what this year has to offer.

We can look back on 2020 and talk about how terrible it was, how we are so glad it’s over and how it will be a year we never talk about again. Or we can look back on 2020 with an open heart and understand while there may have been some bad moments there were good moments too. And I promise you there was good in there.

We can sit here in 2021 and wonder if this year will be like the last. Or we can build off of what we know and continue to forge ahead with positivity and faith.

I will continue to put my best foot forward. I will continue to be better every day.
I will continue to give my all in everything that I do. I will continue to chase after my dreams.
I will continue to show love, grace, and mercy to myself and those around me.
I will continue to show up every single day, even when I don’t want to.

Last year may not have been what you expected, wanted or needed.
I don’t think it was what anybody expected, wanted or needed.
And that’s okay.

This year has the potential to be all that you want it to be.
You only need to show up, be great, give your best and do your best.
Continue to have faith in the unknown and never give up.

So, here’s to 2021. We’ve got this friends.

Transforming

Earlier this week I made an Instagram post about Transformation Tuesday because that’s a thing right?

Anyways, I thought about doing my usual spill about how I have lost 45 pounds (which I am super proud of) and posting side by side photos of myself, showing the weight I’ve lost and how far I have come. I got to thinking, though, that’s not what health and wellness is all about but that’s what we tend to see. ALL. THE. TIME. We tend to see the weight loss journey people go through and their (awesome) transformations. And don’t get me wrong, it is so great to see such amazing transformations and seeing people reach their goals. I am literally dancing in my chair right now, at the kitchen table, genuinely happy seeing people working hard and hitting unbelievable milestones.

BUT if I am being honest, that’s not what health and wellness is strictly about. We can’t forget to love ourselves. We can’t forget that our health and wellness is more than just a number on a scale or a number on a pair of pants. Of course I highly encourage you to take care of yourself -choose healthier foods, drink water, be active, etc. But when do we stop and remember that this journey we are on is more than just working out and eating right? When do we stop and remember that this is about loving ourselves from the inside-out too? I mean, when is that last time you truly sat back and smiled for no reason because life is just that damn amazing, and you can look at yourself with happiness and pride?

You will never truly be happy with your physical appearance, if you aren’t happy with who you are as a person.

Let me say that again…you will never truly be happy with your physical appearance, if you aren’t happy with who you are as a person.

8 years ago I was finishing up college.
I gained 45 pounds.
I wasn’t happy with myself.
Wasn’t sure what was next for me.
Drank a lot. Slept a little.
Did what I could to fit in.
Made some wrong choices.

It was such a hard time for me.
It was hard because I didn’t love myself.
It was hard because I wasn’t taking care of myself.
It was hard because I hated parts of myself. A lot.

Slowly I started to workout, make healthier eating choices and lose that “freshman” 45. But something wasn’t right, I was still so unhappy with who I was. How could I not love myself when I just reached my goal weight? What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just be happy?

I started to realize I wasn’t happy because I didn’t love who I was as a person.
I still had some serious work to do and it’s a beautiful thing to recognize that.
My transformation was becoming more than just about physical appearance.
My transformation had everything to do with learning self-love and acceptance.

Transforming isn’t always about losing weight.
Transforming is about letting go of the toxic.
Transforming is about embracing where you are going.
Transforming is about living each day with purpose.
Transforming is about never giving up.

I encourage you this morning, wherever you are at, to keep transforming into who you were meant to be. Not just transforming your physical appearance, but transforming how you love yourself. How you talk to yourself. How you live out each moment. Focus on the transformation that is going to propel you forward into you living your best life. You totally got this.

Conquer

You go through it.
You heal.
You grow.
You conquer.

There is life after pain, heartbreak and suffering.
There is life after failure, disappointment and struggle.
There is life after hitting rock bottom.

Life has a way of working out in your favor, always.
Sometimes you just have to work a little hard and fight a little longer to find your way back to the light.
Find your way back to the life you know is yours and that you deserve.

I’ve been through it. I’ve been through the pain.
I’ve been broken and bruised (physically and emotionally).
I’ve been helpless and hopeless. I’ve been lost and scared.
But if there is one thing I know to be true, you never have to stay there.

There is help out there for you. You just have to be able to admit you need help.
You have to come to terms with where you are at and figure out what it is you have to do. For you.
And that’s a problem we tend to have. We don’t like asking for help. We don’t like admitting we messed up, we made a mistake. We don’t like showing our weaknesses. We don’t like feeling like we are the only ones who couldn’t get it right.

That was a problem I had and it is something that held me back. It held me back for 3 long years.
It held me back from living the life God had called me to live.
It held me back from going after my dreams and goals.
It held me back from being my most authentic self.
It held me back from a lot of things this life had to offer me.

How did I come out on the other side and how do I know you can do it too?
By the 4 simple steps I have laid out over these last 4 weeks…

-Go through it.
-Heal
-Grow
-Conquer

All of these steps are absolutely possible but they can be scary, and I get that.
But you have to start somewhere.
It starts with reaching out and asking for help.
It starts with admitting you took a wrong turn and it doesn’t mean it’s your fault.
It starts with knowing you deserve better.

We all go through something that changes us. That calls us on a different path.
That shows up who we are and what we are really made of. We all face challenges.
Life is no walk in the park. Not for one single person.
Don’t let social media fool you on that one.

Conquering life’s challenges and missteps begins with the moment you got through it, you start to heal from it and grow into the person you know you were meant to be.

This isn’t easy and trust me, I know from experience.
But remember, you are not alone. You are wanted.
You are needed. You are cared for. You are valued.
Don’t let the world and the darkness take this life away from you.

You were meant for so much more.
Keep fighting. Keep working. Keep being you.

There is life after all the bad shit that happened to you. You only need to go through it, heal, grow and conquer. Take it one day at a time. One step at time. You are so worthy of a beautiful life.

How do I know this?

Because I am living proof that through all the bad shit you can always come out on top.
You can always rise from the ashes and make this the life you know you deserve.

*If you or someone you know is going through domestic abuse, there is help out there for you or them. Visit www.thehotline.org for all the resources you need or if it is an emergency please dial 911. Nobody deserves to be mistreated. Don’t wait until it is too late.