Boundaries. Personal Boundaries.

Personal boundaries are limits that another person creates to recognize reasonable and safe ways for others to behave towards them and how they respond when someone passes those limits.

Boundaries are so important to have because they help set the basic guidelines of how you want to be treated by another. It is a way to protect our energy and an important practice of self-love.

But don’t get building walls up and personal boundaries confused. Building walls up to keep everyone out is NOT the route we are going for here. We want to be able to sense what we need for ourselves and be able to access your voice to speak those things. It is important you don’t shut people out of your life because they are not aware of your boundaries. Many people will cross that line and having boundaries allows you to speak to them, in a healthy manner, and let them know where they have overstepped.

Don’t expect people to just know your boundaries though. Teach the ones you care about the boundaries you have set for yourself and what you expect out of them. Their reaction determines their level of respect for you and where you head next.

What boundaries should I be setting for myself?
What boundaries do I deserve?
What boundaries are reasonable?

Here are 3 simple boundaries you can start with today -

Physical Boundaries - which include personal space and physical needs such as rest, food, and water. It is okay to say “no” to plans because you are feeling tired and need rest. It is okay to say “I need a break”. It is okay to say “No, do not touch me like that” or “You are too close for me to feel comfortable”. It’s okay to use your voice for unwanted attention or touch.
Emotional Boundaries - which includes respecting and honoring your feelings. This sets up a limit of when to share, when not to share, and how to respect and respond to other’s emotional needs. Dismissing feelings, criticizing, assuming, or telling someone how they should or should not feel is not acceptable. Instead create healthy dialogue. “When I share my feelings with you and get judged, it makes me feel…” or “I am having a hard time this is what would help…” or “I may not fully understand what you are feeling but would like to. Please help me”.
Time Boundaries - your time is valuable and protecting how it is utilized helps you better understand how to prioritize and not overcommit yourself in any area of life. When you understand your priorities, it is much easier to manage your time and create healthy boundaries with others. It is okay to say, “I can only stay for an hour” or “I would love to help but would be overcommitting myself. How about another day"?” or “I can’t this weekend”.

I find myself working on these 3 boundaries daily. It is easy to guilt ourselves into not being able to say “no” or not using our voices to articulate how we are feeling or how another made us feel. It is easier to just sit back and hope someone realizes what you need instead of having to tell them. But is that a healthy way to live? Absolutely not.

Start creating personal boundaries today. There is no wrong or right way to go about this. The boundaries you create for yourself are ones that should create a healthier environment for you to feel safe in, as well as creating a true form of self-love in respecting what you need. But remember, you can’t expect others to know these boundaries and don’t create unrealistic ones either. It’s not about building a wall to keep everyone out but building a line to help create healthy relationships with others and yourself.