How did you do it? How did you rebuild yourself?

Well those are some loaded question -they always are. Rebuilding yourself has many different levels, layers to uncover and chapters to make it through. There is no one step guide to rebuilding yourself. There are no simple roads to take to get to the new you quicker and faster. You can’t skip over the pain and pretend where you are now doesn’t have some reflecting and pausing to do. You can’t pretend that what got you to where you are didn’t happen. You cannot compare your rebuilding process to anybody else’s -this is the number one way to get discouraged.

Don’t ever think where you are now, is where you have to stay. No matter how many mistakes you’ve made, how much wrong you may have done or brokenness you may feel, you can always rebuild, grow and flourish. You have the choice to stay where you are or do better -only you can make that choice and nobody can make that choice for you. No amount of self-help books, therapists or motivational quotes is going to keep you going. They may get you started but they won’t keep you going. You have to make the choice to want to make a change, to want to rebuild and be dedicated to the process or you will find yourself right where you started.

This whole journey to rebuilding who I once was took courage and a shit ton of faith. It took me getting out of my own negative thoughts and self-doubts, to understand that I couldn’t continue the way I was going. I was at rock bottom and I was only digging myself deeper. I woke up one morning and said, “enough is enough”. I woke up and could barely see the light at the end of the tunnel and that’s when I knew it was time for a change. It was time to rebuild myself. It was time to take who I was, take the lessons she taught me and be a better woman from that. Am I where I want to be? No, but I have come a long way, all because I chose (for myself) to rebuild, reconstruct and re-love myself. It was the best decision I made for myself, by myself.

So, when I get the questions -how did you do it? How did you rebuild yourself? I can only answer with you have to make the choice for yourself. You have to want better; you have to do better. Allow yourself to feel the pain, brokenness and hopelessness you may feel, but don’t stay there. Only you can decide when you’ve had enough -that’s when you decide to stand up, brush the dirt off and make some life changing choices for yourself. Like I say, life doesn’t always work out the way we had planned or hoped for but it sure as hell doesn’t get any better if you allow your circumstances to control you. You are in control. Don’t let the heaviness of yesterday, be your burdens today.