I am not any less of a person because I am single. I am not any less of a person because I don’t have kids. I am not any less of a person because I am almost 30 with neither of these things. Marriage and kids do not define someone’s life, so stop making it the expectation that, that is what life is all about. Stop making people feel bad for being single and thriving. Stop asking the rude AF questions. Stop asking the questions that make single people feel less of a person because they haven’t reached a certain “level” in life. While we may laugh off your questions, deep down we can’t wait until the conversation is over, to walk away and maybe cry a little bit (no? just me? cool.). It hurts, it is rude and we are sick of it.

Why are you still single?
I am single because I choose to be. It really is that simple. I have decided not to settle, stay true to who I am and continue to date until I find “the one”. AND chill, I am not saying married people settled. Good for you for finding your match. But y’all love to ask this question, so I am answering it. Single people are single because they choose to be, you don’t need to remind us. You don’t need to hound us. Stop and be proud of us. Be proud for all that we are doing. All that we are accomplishing. Being single doesn’t define who I am, it’s a piece of who I am -for now. Nobody gets to make me feel bad or guilty for that.

You’re getting older, you have to lower those standards…
Actually, I don’t and I won’t. I know what I want, I know what I don’t and I refuse to lower my standards because I am getting “older”. I have an expectation for those who wish to share a life with me. I won’t apologize when I show them the door because they aren’t meeting me where I need them to. I refuse to lower myself for anybody. Meet me where I am and we can continue to rise together. But, I do not need to lower myself simply because society thinks I am old and should be married by now. Get over yourselves.

Don’t be too much or extra, it makes guys run.
SEE YA AND GOODBYE! I will not apologize for being exactly who I am. I am a lot, like extra a lot. I am loud, rude, curse and cry (at the most unexpected times). I overthink, am depressed and have anxiety. But I am kind, loving, loyal, growing, successful and ambitious. We all have flaws, we all have beauties -but I will apologize for none of it. I will not apologize for being too much or too extra. I will not hide away the parts that, apparently, make someone run. They accept me where I am and where I am headed or don’t. I won’t be anything but me, and nobody who cares for me and loves me for me, should expect me to.

Don’t you want kids? Better hurry up and find that husband.
If you know me (like really know me), you know this one gets me the MOST. I have always wished, prayed and dreamed of being a mother. Every time I see a pregnancy announcement, I get upset, I cry and whisper to God, “Why not me?”. It’s not that I am not happy for my friends, I am over the moon happy. But I dream of being a mommy. I dream of experiencing growing a tiny human inside of me and loving it so hard. So when you come to me with this question, realize it cuts deeper than you think. It makes me feel less than. It takes me to a dark place. I am grateful God put me in a position to love on little ones, every day. I love being a preschool teacher, I love that the parents I have met over the years continue to let me love on their littles and be a part of their growth. I love that my friends allow me to be a part of their children’s lives. Because until I have children of my own (because I know my prayers will not go unanswered), I get to love on some amazing littles daily and that makes my heart so incredibly happy and filled with joy.

I am authentically me and I am proud of me. I get overly-emotional, I have thousands of ideas flowing through my head, I apologize more times than I should, I ugly laugh at the stupidest things and I cry about almost everything but in the next moment, wipe the tears and find the silver lining. I am a handful, I am a lot. I am me. I jump into things whole-heartedly and where my heart on my sleeve. I give people the benefit of the doubt and forgive easily. I use to hate all of this about myself. I told myself that this is why I was lonely, why nobody could possibly ever love me -but I was wrong. Oh so, wrong.

I dream hard, work hard and believe hard. I am a lot of love, joy and beauty. I am real, passionate and empathetic. I stopped laying awake at night picking myself apart and starting loving every single quirky, beautiful part about me. If you are anything like me, remember this world needs more of you, exactly as you are. Don’t hide, don’t shy away, don’t back down. Don’t you ever change who you are because society is making you feel left behind. You are exactly where you need to be. Be bold, be brave and continue to be your beautiful, authentic self.