How am I already another year older? How did my 30th year on this earth go by so fast? How am I 31 already? What, what, what?
2020. It was the year of the great pandemic. The year of quarantine. The year I turned the big 3-0.
The year I looked to with much anticipation and dread. Where I was isn’t where I imagined my life to be.
I was alone when it felt like everyone else had their person.
Starting over at a new job while figuring out quarantine life.
No kids when I felt everyone else was experiencing the joy of parenthood.
*side note before someone goes crazy on me -not saying parenthood is easy but I can only imagine the journey and joy parenthood brings to one’s life. Anyways, moving on…
These are the 3 main things that were big for me.
They were big to me because I had a timeline of my life planned out.
And when that timeline didn’t happen exactly as planned let me tell you, I WAS NOT HAPPY.
We all have things that are big to us but small to others.
We all reflect on life at a certain point and think, ‘this is it?’
We all have our moments.
And that’s okay. These moments are valid.
For me, mine was turning 30. It was my time of reflection. It was my ‘this is it?’ moment. I didn’t imagine I would be single, living alone, no kids, and starting completely over in life. But it happens and what I know now is that life happens and every moment serves a purpose.
There is reason and meaning behind every single moment and how we choose to look and act on these moments determines our next steps. Determines our future. What path do I choose? Where do I go from here?
Do I choose negativity and defeat?
Do I choose to move forward and make the most of what I have?
Spoiler Alert…
I choose the latter. I choose to move forward with determination and make the most of what God had given me in that exact moment. After all, I know God is always working in my favor and He had something to tell me in that moment that went beyond my doubts and fears.
And I say this with certainty and confidence (now) because fast forward a year later, I am exactly where I prayed I wanted to be (well, mostly lol). Was I this certain and confident living it out to this moment? Uhm, NO. I am not here to say I didn’t ssttrrruuugggllleeeee because I, one thousand percent, did. But if there is one thing I was during that time of growth…I was determined.
I continued to work on myself, grow in my journey, and most importantly, pray.
I didn’t give up on God and His plans for me (even if it looked a bit different than expected).
I didn’t give up working on myself through therapy and self-love.
I didn’t give up on my journey and the goodness I knew was to come.
I love my job and, I am continuing to grow and learn every single day. My job has lit a new passion inside of me for teaching and I have the opportunity to continue my education and knowledge in what I love to do -teach and make a difference in every single child I encounter. What more could I ask for?!
And what do you know, I found the perfect human for me that challenges me to better every single day, in the best possible way, and helps me not take life so seriously. He manages to make me smile even in trying moments and while we may not be perfect (nobody is), we definitely are perfect for each other. God gave me someone not to complete me but to compliment me. He’s my person and I thank God for every single relationship that didn’t work out before him, and for teaching me to be patient in the wait because it sure was worth the wait.
While I may not have everything I want in this exact moment I have everything I need and for that I am grateful.
The same can be true for you. If you are experiencing your ‘this is it?’ moment just know the best is yet to come. I promise. Don’t give up. Stay hopeful. Stay determined.
If you aren’t experiencing ‘this is it?’ moment and life is perfect, well hats off to you and keep rocking it.
But for most of us, I think we can agree that life isn’t what we expected it to be. What we had planned didn’t exactly go as planned. Am I right?!
Through all the highs, lows, failures, successes, happy moments, sad moments, and all the in between, life has a funny way of working out exactly as it should. So, as I reflect on another year of life I am truly grateful for where God has me in life. I encourage you to do the same. Find your light, push through, and never give up the good fight.
Life will, no doubt, always have its difficulties and struggles but it is how we come out on the other side that matters most. So here’s to another year around the sun. I am ready to see what 31 has in store for me.
